Wickersham's Conscience

Despite the wretched outcome of his wishes for 2010, WC will once again set out his wishes for 2011. While it is tempting to moderate his wishes, WC is not inclined to lower his expectations in the hope of greater success. But to offer some additional inspiration, WC will frame his wishes for 2011 in the great words of others.

If by a “Liberal” they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people — their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights, and their civil liberties — someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicions that grip us in our policies abroad, if that is what they mean by a “Liberal,” then I’m proud to say I’m a “Liberal.”

- John F. Kennedy, 1960

WC wishes that the Republican House and the Democratic Senate recognize that health care reform isn’t a political football, or a springboard to electoral success in 2012, but the best solution so far to the looming health care crisis facing our nation. An imperfect solution, but the best Congress has been able to enact to date. Tearing it down will not solve the crisis.

Now this conjunction of an immense military establishment and a large arms industry is new in the American experience. The total influence — economic, political, even spiritual — is felt in every city, every Statehouse, every office of the Federal government. We recognize the imperative need for this development. Yet we must not fail to comprehend its grave implications. Our toil, resources, and livelihood are all involved. So is the very structure of our society.

In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military-industrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist. We must never let the weight of this combination endanger our liberties or democratic processes.

- Dwight D. Eisenhower, 1961

If the political power of the military-industrial complex was a problem in 1961, it is a nightmare today.

U.S. Federal Spending - 2011 Budget

The Department of Defense today is the largest single part of the federal budget. If the budget is to be balanced, it must be reduced. Unlike social security, which is funded, defense spending is a direct drain on taxes and the biggest contribution to the deficit. WC wishes Congress would recognize and address the problem. Sure, some defense-related industry in Congresssman Bushmat’s district will take a hit, but the alternatives are worse.

In some respects, science has far surpassed religion in delivering awe. How is it that hardly any major religion has looked at science and concluded, “This is better than we thought! The Universe is much bigger than our prophets said, grander, more subtle, more elegant. God must be even greater than we dreamed”? Instead they say, “No, no, no! My god is a little god, and I want him to stay that way.”

- Carl Sagan, 1994

The ongoing horrors committed in the name of God and what He has Told us are surely one of the greatest problems facing the world. Whether it’s a Muslim deciding his God has ordered him to kill innocents, a Catholic Pope inveighing against birth control or a fundamentalist Christian calling for superstitions to be taught in the public schools; the list of religious offenses against the world is endless. WC wishes that the Gods imagined by shepherds, nomads and farmers could see fit to adapt their edicts to a world with finite resources, doomsday weapons and horrific overcrowding. And that those Gods’ followers would listen.

For whenever men are not obliged to fight from necessity, they fight from ambition; which is so powerful in human breasts, that it never leaves them no matter to what rank they rise. The reason is that nature has so created men that they are able to desire everything but are not able to attain everything: so that the desire being always greater than the acquisition, there results discontent with the possession and little satisfaction to themselves from it.

- Niccolo Machiavelli, 1517

Sarah Palin, Alaska’s very own half-term governor, is no longer obligated to fight from necessity; she has enough money and enough fame to be comfortable the rest of her life. As Machiavelli points out, she is now motivated solely by ambition. But Palin cannot see that she doesn’t want responsibility or accountability; it’s largely the reason she quit as governor. Her ambition will force her to run for president, even though she doesn’t want either responsibility or the accountability that would come with the job. WC wishes that Palin would develop enough self-awareness, sufficient insight, to recognize Machiavelli is right.

None of this is likely to happen, but it’s a new year, the occasion for hope. Happy New Year, everyone.

Certain nattering nabobs of negativism[1] have pointed out that The Quitter actually won her Big Lie Award WC described in late 2009.

But WC is happy to report that even as late as December 22, 2010, our ex-governor was proving she still had what it takes to draw the derision of her intellectual superiors.[2] Mario Almonte, writing in The Huffington Post, awarded Sister Sarah Hubris of the Year Award for 2010. At one level, the ex-gov’s shocking, breathtaking arrogance kept it from being much of a contest. At another, there are an amazing number of arrogant politicians running loose right now, and some of the Tea Baggers among them could have made this a contest. Nor is Palin’s attitude hubris, exactly, although the flavor is definitely present.

Here are some quotes, with WC’s comments, from the citation that went with this award:

Last year, Palin’s assertion that President Obama’s health care reform plan would create government-sponsored “death panels” that could kill her down-syndrome baby helped fan the flames of opposition to the complex bill. She actually knew nothing about the bill – it is doubtful she had ever even read a single passage from it; yet, even while a barrage of experts came forward to systematically disprove the claim, she continued to proudly stand by her comment.

The point is not whether the bill was a good one or not – but that she maliciously promoted a blatant lie for the simple fact that she enjoyed the attention she got. She did not care to find out if the firestorm of controversy she caused was a positive or negative thing to the people the bill would supposedly impact.

WC would regard this as being as much utter selfishness as hubris. It was undeniably outrageous, and like most pathological liars, Palin probably believes what she was saying, even if it was patently false. In another sense, it comes down to that arrogant, invincible ignorance that she flaunts.

Successfully pandering to that fan base, she is now, increasingly, portrayed as a viable presidential candidate. Yet, rather than feeling the humility of such a possibility and being humbled by the enormous weight of responsibility the job entails, she has become emboldened and more ambitious, more crafty and strategic in her words and action. We’ve had other equally calculating and unqualified people in the White House before, but what makes her dangerous is that she does not seek the highest power in the land to change the world for the better, but to wield the power and to even scores.

That’s an exact and precise explanation of Caribou Barbie’s motives, but, again, it’s not classic hubris. Vengefulness is not a quality WC looks for in a president (think Dick Nixon here). It makes The Quitter exactly the wrong person to choose as President.

Still, it’s not WC’s award to give. And apart from possibly mischaracterizing arrogant ignorance and selfishness as hubris, Mr. Almonte’s description of her conduct and her motives is exactly right.

So congratulation, Madam Ex. The awards and trophies just keep coming in.

Notes:
[1] Vice President Spiro Agnew, vice William Safire.
[2] WC thanks one of his readers for bringing this tidbit to WC’s attention.

Back in January, WC made a few simple wishes for 2010. It’s time to review those optimistic hopes, and see how it went.

1. Alaskans would stop whining about taxes. Alaska has the lowest combined state and local tax rate of any state in the nation. It has enjoyed that status for more than 25 years. It’s an historical aberration, linked to taxes on the oil industry, but it’s indisputable. So stop whining about it.

Not. It actually got worse. It remains WC’s fond hope that there is a special place in the Christian Hell for Donna Gilbert and the Interior Taxpayers Association.

2. TSA would stop punishing the passengers when TSA screws up and lets a terrorist on a flight. Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab came pretty close to blowing up an Northwest Airlines jet on final approach at Detroit. Scary. The passengers on that flight helped save the day. He was on board because of a failure of intelligence (he’d been busted by his own father, but allowed to board) and a failure of screening. But instead of fixing what’s broken, all passengers will be punished: more intrusive screening, forced to sit the last hour of any flight, nothing in our laps but our hands. So that the suicide nut cases will make their attempts earlier in the flight? I don’t need to post a screed against this folly; Christopher Hitchens has written a fine one.

Not. Of course, this wish never had a chance. While TSA has backed off of the idle hands approach, the groping of a physical pat down is worse than ever. WC has a few metal parts that intermittently set off metal detectors. In some cases, it appears to be his fillings. Other, more serious threats remain unaddressed. TSA is mostly badly acted street theater.

3. Sarah Palin would just shut up. Incredibly divisive, dishonest, narcissistic and ignorant, she represents everything reprehensible about about politics in general and the Republican Party in particular.

Not. Everything she did in 2010 was at or even below WC’s very, very low expectations. She won Politifact’s Lie of the Year Award. Kind of says it all.

4. George W. Bush would announce, “I was wrong. Global warming is real. It’s a terrible threat to America and requires immediate action. I was wrong to try to suppress the research showing it was a threat. The Republican Party needs to join with the Democrats and develop a serious, drastic response now, even if the U.S. has to go it alone.”

Not. While Dubya published a biography (WC cannot bring himself to call it an autobiography), tainted with allegations of plagiarism, climate change is only mentioned once, in passing (p. 347). Kind of says it all. Tampering with results the scientific research isn’t mentioned at all.

5. Just a single member of Congress who is willing to say, “The issues facing the country are too important for partisanship. I’m working across the aisle to serve America, not my personal interests or the interests of the party.” We know it’s not Joe Lieberman. Anyone?

Yes. WC will score Senator Bernie Sanders’ (I-VT) near-filibuster on the Senate floor as a rise above partisanship and recognition of the real economic issues facing America. Kudos to Senator Sanders.

6. A year without a single Alaska elected official being indicted.

Kind of. At least the scofflaws were limited to municipal officials this year. No legislator was indicted, although some were spanked for “ethical lapses.”

So call it 1.5 out of 6.0 wishes coming true. Given the very modest expectations WC brought to his wishlist, that’s probably not too bad.

The Chicago Cubs finished 16 games behind the Cincinnati Reds in the National League Central, in next-to-last place. Sigh. They were pretty awful. One hundred two years and counting. Some National League team from the west coast ended up winning the World Series. The American League continued to play some other game where the pitcher doesn’t bat. And yet another MLB star was outed as a user of performance enhancing drugs. On the brighter side, Major League Baseball survived another year with Bud Selig at the helm.

There are other, less important sports than baseball. Let’s see. WC will think of one in a moment. Oh, golf. In 2009 Tiger Woods crashed his Cadillac Escalante, his reputation, his integrity and possibly his marriage. In the words of The Capitol Steps, he couldn’t keep his bowsers truckled. In 2010, he did the same thing with his golf game. WC can be corrected on this (the subject isn’t baseball), but Woods, for the first time as a pro, went the year without winning a tournament.

American football, at all levels, was revealed to be a cumulative long term hazard to the health of the players. Repeated concussions, even symptom-free concussions, can cause very severe brain damage. Amazingly, this came as news to the National Football League.

The National Basketball Association playoffs once again lasted into mid-summer. Presumably, some folks watched to see who won. WC didn’t.

Apparently auto racing, and specifically NASCAR, remains the most popular sport in the U.S. WC has never understood sitting in stands for hours, damaging your hearing and watching internal combustion engines waste fuel. Is this a southern thing? Is it a white thing? WC doesn’t get it.

ESPN, the Eastern Sports Network, continues to believe there are no college football teams worth noticing west of the Rockies except Southern California. Despite a series of humiliations and five losses, post-season ineligibility and finishing tied for third in the Pac 10, USC remained the darling of ESPN. Five Pac 10 teams were ranked in the BCS. Seven teams are in post-season bowl games. Boise State finally lost a game and, in sharp contrast to other 10-1 teams, was relegated to something called the MAACO Bowl, administering an object lesson to Utah. Yet EPSN pretends the west doesn’t exist.

And despite the buckets of ink, petabytes of digital content and the passionate beliefs of a depressing high percentage of Americans, none of it really matters. It’s entertainment. Usually farcical. In the case of the Cubs, almost always farcical. But passion is unrelated to importance in the real world. Despite what Auburn fans may think.

WC has been accused of always attacking Sarah Palin, and never offering praise. Well, WC is here to proudly announce that Alaska’s very own Caribou Barbie is the winner of Politifact’s inaugural Lie of the Year contest.  Let’s have a big round of well-deserved applause for The Quitter.

Her winning lie was the infamous “death panel” quote, a provision in a late draft of the health care reform legislation that only Sarah could find. While Politifact handed out a lot of its “Pants on Fire” awards for Big Lies, out of all of those lies told by all of those politicians, it was our Sarah’s that was selected as the biggest whopper of them all. She must be so proud!

She infamously said on her Facebook account,

The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama’s ‘death panel’ so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their ‘level of productivity in society,’ whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil.

As anyone who read the draft bill knows, there weren’t any “death panels” or bureaucrats making subjective judgment about who would live or die. What the bill did was was propose to allow Medicare to pay for counseling for patients who chose to get advice on end of life planning. Things like living wills, health care directives and palliative care in final illnesses. It was the benign, useful, helpful provision that Palin twisted beyond recognition.

The Quitter has shifted her ground since her award-winning fib. She says now that she is opposed to rationing health care. Never mind that she seems to be supporting U.S. Representative-elect Paul Ryan’s plans for rationing Medicare. Consistency has never been Sister Sarah’s strongpoint.

But Sarah, darling, answer me this: suppose there’s a medical procedure that will extend your loved one’s life for 30 days. The procedure will cost Medicare and the U.S. $10 million. Will you do the procedure? Or will you “ration” health care?

Doh. WC has gone and made you think. WC’s bad. And when you should be celebrating, too. Enjoy your moment of fame. Or at least infamy. After the party? Maybe you should reflect on the problem with big lies in public discourse: they don’t make the problem go away. They just make it that much harder to solve.

Even for WC’s low expectations, 2010 was a low point for organized religion. Consider the following items:

Alleged Christian Rev. Terry Jones, minister to a church of perhaps 50 people, proposed burning a few hundred Qu’rans on 9/11 to commemorate the attacks on the Pentagon and the World Trade Center. A long-time Islamaphobe, he backed down only when General David Petraeus warned Jones’ bigoted plan would certainly endanger the lives of countless American soldiers.

Jesus rifles. Sigh.

The Catholic Church, faced with yet another series of child molestation scandals, decided to blame homosexuals for the sins of its priests. WC can’t make this stuff up. While Pope Benedict called for the Catholic Church to do penance, no one seemed to be suggesting the church address the problem of predatory, pedophile priests. The pope’s personal preacher went as far as to compare the abuse scandal to anti-Semitism.

A proposed Islamic Cultural Center in lower Manhattan provoked a firestorm of controversy among the religious right-wingers and Alaska’s very own Caribou Barbie. It’s difficult to decide which is worse: the inability to recognize what America stands for, or the cynical appeal to jingoism.

The Mayor of Lancaster, California, a community with which WC has some connections, announced that ”We are a growing Christian community and don’t let anybody shy away from that. I need Lancaster residents standing up and saying we are a Christian community and we’re proud of it.” Lancaster has a substantial Jewish population. It has a substantial Muslim population. It also has some of the highest crime rates in California. WC will refrain from stating the obvious.

WC will conclude his dismal assessment of religion at the end of the decade with a tale from Mark Twain, who makes a distinction between “Higher Animals” and “Reasoning Animals”:

In truth, man is incurably foolish.  Simple things which the other animals easily learn, he is incapable of learning.  Among my experiments was this.  In an hour I taught a cat and a dog to be friends.  I put them in a cage.  In another hour I taught them to be friends with a rabbit.  In the course of two days I was able to add a fox, a goose, a squirrel and some doves.  Finally a monkey.  They lived together in peace; even affectionately.

Next, in another cage I confined an Irish Catholic from Tipperary, and as soon as he seemed tame I added a Scotch Presbyterian from Aberdeen.  Next a Turk from Constantinople; a Greek Christian from Crete; an Armenian; a Methodist from the wilds of Arkansas; a Buddhist from China; a Brahman from Benares. Finally, a Salvation Army Colonel from Wapping.  Then I stayed away two whole days.  When I came back to note results, the cage of Higher Animals was all right, but in the other there was but a chaos of gory odds and ends of turbans and fezzes and plaids and bones and flesh, not a specimen left alive.  These Reasoning Animals had disagreed on a theological detail and carried the matter to a Higher Court.

One hundred years later, nothing has changed.

U.S. District Court Judge Beistline, in a slightly surprising move today, not only lifted the stay on certification of the U.S. Senate election; he also threw out Miller’s lawsuit. Judge Beistline was brief, but he wasn’t kind.

For those of you who are keeping score, since his upset win in the Republican primary, Joe Miller is 0-5:

1. He lost his fight to keep secret his felonious conduct at the Fairbanks North Star Borough Department of Law.
2. He lost the general election by 12,000 votes to a write-in candidate.
3. He lost his attempt to defeat the will of the voters in Alaska Superior Court.
4. He lost his second attempt to defeat the will of Alaska voters in the Alaska Supreme Court.
5. And he lost his attempt to overturn the election in U.S. District Court.

Miller will, no doubt, appeal his U.S. District Court loss to the Ninth Circuit. After all, he’s not spending his own money, and the man is plainly delusional. But while he may not be done, he is finished.

According to the Anchorage Daily News, Miller claims through his lawyers:

The number of votes by which a candidate loses an election is an important consideration that affects public opinion and perceptions regarding the candidate; the candidate’s continued viability as a public spokesperson or representative for the causes that he or she supports; the candidate’s fundraising ability, both for himself and others; and his or her future viability as a candidate.

A personal note to Joe Miller: Dude, WC thinks you need to see a professional. Right away. Your “future viability as a candidate” after your conduct during and after the vote count can be measured in single digits. And not very large digits, either. You have embarrassed everyone in Alaska. Except maybe Joe Miller, who is obviously oblivious. Your name has become a watchword for futile litigation, arrogance and self-deception.

So move along, folks, nothing more to see here. Move along.

In WC’s overheated vocabulary, “being Prevoed” means being sucker-punched by a homophobe. Not necessarily the Far Right Reverend Jerry Prevo, although that’s frequently the case.

But WC may have to expand his definition in light of the Anchorage Baptist Temple’s latest membership drive. As John Aronno has pointed out over at the Alaska Commons, Reverend Prevo was offering his flock flat screen televisions for bringing potential converts to his Christmas pageant. Sweet Christian charity!

The “rules” for the event are amusing, and include requirements that potential converts cannot be members of “another church of like faith” and have to be a “potential prospect” for his “church.” So WC supposes that the homophobia is still lurking in there, under the white sheets.

Apparently, doing good works is no longer sufficient reward. At least at the Anchorage Baptist Church. You have to wonder what genuine missionaries would get…

WC, even before visiting Antarctica, had read that 99.6% of the continent is covered in ice. It’s one thing to read it; it’s another to see it. There’s vertical rock, and there’s ice, and there’s not much else. While WC thinks that the landscapes of the Antarctic Peninsula are effectively impossible to photograph, the following shots may at least give you some idea of what an extraordinary place it is.

Mt. Scott, Antarctic Peninsula

The Lemaire Channel, from which the photo is taken, is a series of stunning vistas.

Sunset at Neko Bay

WC post-holed through soft snow up a hillside for this shot, but it was absolutely worth it.

Tidewater Glacier, Neko Bay

Tidewater Glaciers to dwarf Alaska’s Hubbard Glacier are a dime a dozen. In fact, for the most part where there aren’t sheer rock cliffs, there are glaciers and icefields.

Unnamed Mountain, Lemaire Channel

An altogether amazing place. If you can manage it, give it a visit.

BP is a huge part of Alaska, politically, economically, socially and financially. It’s also responsible for the safety and reliability of the North Slope oil field production system. That makes the New York Times article on the final hours of the Deepwater Horizon critical reading for Alaskans. The article is long, but absolutely riveting. And carries profound lessons for BP’s role in Alaska.

View the slide show, too.

Joe Miller announced over the holiday weekend that he “will not oppose state certification of the U.S. Senate race in Alaska. For the sake of the integrity of the election, Miller will go forward with the federal suit.”

Now before WC’s readers get all maudlin about Miller’s Christmas gift of new found sensitivity to protecting Alaska’s representation in Congress, consider that he didn’t have a prayer, not a proverbial snowball’s chance, of avoiding certification, possibly as early as today. After the Alaska Supreme Court decision last week, there was no credible basis for avoiding certification. So that part of the announcement is simply putting the best possible face on Miller’s ongoing post-election defeats.

As for the “sake of the integrity of the election, the only threat for which there is any evidence is Miller’s own shotgun barrage of unsupported claims. If you wanted to undermine the integrity of Alaska’s electoral process, what better way to do it than to bring in some outside meat axe like Floyd Brown? Have him make a lot of wild, unsubstantiated allegations, and then slink back out of state. WC thinks it’s roughly like a wolverine pissing on a wolf kill. It smells really bad. Nothing else will touch it. But the only thing wrong is what the wolverine did.

As both the superior court and the supreme court have pointed out to Miller, there’s no persuasive evidence for his claim of felons voting, or massive numbers of ballots with the same handwriting. His claim that he hasn’t had time to investigate fully is laughable: the election was almost two months ago. He has the very impressive financial resources of Senator Jim DeMint and his cash machine at his beck and call. If there was anything out there that made a difference, they’d have found it. The strong inference is that there isn’t.

WC’s prediction is that U.S. District Judge Beistline will have no more sympathy for Miller’s unsupported claims than Superior Court Judge Carey or the Alaska Supreme Court did. The case will be dismissed in due course, with Miller muttering about the unfairness of it all.

The ironic thing is that the Alaska election system seems to have worked perfectly. The problem is that Alaska has a sore loser.

A few readers took WC to task for his examples of conspiracies used in his post on the subject last week. It’s difficult to give examples, WC supposes, without treading on someone’s favorite conspiracy theory.

But while researching a recent blog essay, WC stumbled across an entry that seems to conflate in an alogical sprawl the largest number of classic conspiracy theories yet. David Allen Rivera’s post, titled “The Federal Income Tax – Final Warning: The New World Order,” seems to have them all: the Illuminati, the illegality of the 16th Amendment, the unconstitutionality of the federal government and the New World Order, all in a single post mashup of false premises, non-sequiturs, misquotes and logical flaws. Of course, the article ends with an advertisement for credit repair, which sort of undercuts a challenge to the national monetary system, but a foolish consistency, after all, is the hobgoblin of small minds (Emerson, of course).

The Challenge:

So here’s WC’s challenge to his readers for the new year: Find a single blog post on the Web that claims a conspiracy theory and contains more logical flaws and non-linear arguments than Mr. Rivera’s essay. Essays you write will not count, although WC may sponsor a similar contest. WC is looking for genuine crackpot theories, not ones his readers invent for themselves. To put things in the right mood, the contest will close at 11:11 AM ADT on January 11, 2011.

Entries should be submitted in comments that include a link to your candidate. Essays by Dave Barry are ineligible.

If there is a sufficient response, WC will submit the real zingers to a poll here for your vote. The winner will have 15 minutes of very-nearly-fame.

In this age of tweeting and texting, slang and appalling grammar, the importance of punctuation has nearly been lost.

For example, the normally punctilious Sheila Toomey, writing in her Alaska Ear column, wrote about the report that Palin spawn Bristol has purchased a house in Arizona:

Does Bristol want to put Alaska in her rear view mirror, or is Mama looking to establish residence in a state that likes her better than we do? Go Sarah go!

Really, go.

Now that’s a good line, but that punchline can get more punch with more careful selection of punctuation:

Really. Go.

In context – and much of punctuation is context – a period creates more punch than a comma.

In a dispute involving more than making a comment snarkier, Canadian company Bell Alliant was allowed out of a contract with Rogers Communication because of the interpretation of a contract clause. The early exit saved Bell Alliant about $2 million Loonies. (And probably cost the lawyer that wrote the contract $2 million Loonies as well, but WC won’t go into that.)

A misplaced comma reportedly cost Lockheed $70 million in a contract dispute with an unnamed vendor. The article is a little fuzzy: the dispute may have involved European use of a comma as a decimal in writing numbers.

But the point still stands: commas matter. Punctuation matters. Tweet it out if you must.

There were perhaps fewer high-profile sex scandals in 2010 – fewer American politicians were caught “hiking the Appalachian Trail.” But it was still pretty much scandal politics as usual.

U.S. Senate candidate, tea bag darling and recovering witch Christine O’Donnell probably set the low mark, by demonstrating that you don’t have to have a brain to be a witch. Unfortunately, the ding-dong witch is back, still spouting inanities after being crushed in the general election.

Former U.S.  Senator and presidential candidate John Edwards finally admitted to his extramarital affair and to fathering a two year old daughter. His timing was awkward: the admissi0n came as his for wife, Elizabeth Edwards, was dying of breast cancer.

U.S. Senator David Vitter’s prostitution scandal has clearly made him more forgiving of the sins of others. He kept as an aide a man who assaulted his girlfriend with a knife, and paid the travel expenses so the aide could go back to Louisiana twice to attend hearing on his DWI case.

Activist and filmaker James O’Keefe – the man whose heavily edited videos took ACORN down – was arrested for tampering with the telephones of Senator Mary Landrieu. He and two colleagues – including the son of a U.S. Attorney – dressed as telephone company employees and tried to wiretap the senator’s phones.

But some kind of prize has to go to Washington State Representative State Matt Shea, who introduced a state sovereignty bill to keep the federal government at bay. After all, he claims there’s a conspiracy afoot by the White House to impose martial law, he says. The climate-change movement is a government plan to take control of Americans, he also thinks, and he suspects FEMA is using the same tactic Hitler used to recruit church pastors to quiet opponents. Then there’s that planned takeover of America by a secret Obama army, says the first-term Spokane Valley Republican and attorney. Eastern Washington voters must be very proud.

Finally, in the Justice Delayed category, after years of stalling former Republican powerbroker and House Majority Leader Tom Delay went to trial and was convicted of money laundering.

Somewhat unusually in an election year, the scandals involved more money than sex. But the pattern is distressingly similar to 2009. Your public position need not, ahem, be the same as your private one.

As he did in 2009, WC will devote some year-end posts to recapping the past year, checking how his wishes for 2010 played out, and making his wishes for 2011. None of this is going to be pretty, but WC proposes to revisit the ugliest part first: the 2010 Palin Family Roadshow, Circus and Horror Story.

The rock star treatment for speaking engagements, the rifle crosshairs on “targeted candidates,” the relentless self-aggrandizement, the abyssmal, bottomless ignorance and, above all, the shrill hypocrisy of this person; it provokes a fingernails-on-a-chalkboard reaction in WC.

It’s not just that she is a terrible public speaker, although that’s certainly true. She’s seemingly incapable of logical thinking. Her reaction is never reflective, or considered. Consider, for example, her response to the Nuclear Posture Review and when exposed as an idiot, her ad hominem attack on President Obama. Or her abysmal ignorance of the First Amendment, whether the provisions on separation of church and state or freedom of speech.

And the quality of character? Missing in action. Timothy Egan referred to “[T]he dubious character trifecta of the Palin brand: bone-headed, defiant and willfully ignorant.” He omitted that she is also a control freak, as witnessed by her complete over-reaction to her temporary neighbor, Joe McGinnis this past summer. McGinnis has her number, and a demonstrated ability to punch her buttons. McGinnis in turn pointed to Mark Twain’s sardonic observation “All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.” Dead on.

Her frenetic campaigning for her Tea Party favorites, her daughter’s embarrassing over-exposure on reality television, her incessant injection of her ill-informed opinions into national issues; it would gag a maggot.

WC believes he may have been the first to link Palin, Palinstas and the Dunning-Kruger Effect. It explains a lot about the Refudiator’s thrashing around, about how often and how badly she gets it wrong. And why, despite continually humiliating herself, her followers continue to support her. The Dunning-Kruger Effect, unfortunately, describes the problem but doesn’t offer a solution; indeed, it implies there isn’t a solution. Which means more of the Palin Horror Show in 2011. WC can hardly wait.

WC approaches a discussion of the Joe Miller-backing, Lisa Murkowski-bashing Senator Jim DeMint in the same dispassionate way he approaches all his blog entries: WC wishes that hypocritical busy-body DeMint would mind South Carolina’s business, and not meddle in Alaska’s.

His fund-raising site, Senate Conservatives Fund, has finally taken down its plea for money to support Miller’s endless, frivolous litigation. Although copies of his message are still all over the Web. The copy posted at Texas for Palin averages bout 1.5 lies per paragraph. And the paragraphs are pretty short, doubtlessly targeted to DeMint’s intended audience.

This is the same man who has stated gays should not be permitted to teach in public schools, that single mothers living with boy friends should not teach in public schools and that unmarried, sexually active people should not teach in public schools. South Carolina is welcome to elect this kind of homophobic bigot if it wishes, but WC would respectfully ask that it refrain from inflicting DeMint and his far-right values on Alaskans.

Or Senator DeMint could pay attention to his state’s embarrassing problems, rather than blasting vitriol in campaigns 3,500 miles away. South Carolina has the 8th highest poverty rate in the nation, for example, and a truly abysmal high school graduation rate – next to worst nationally. Or its 13th place finish in unwed teen pregnancies. Or South Carolina’s next-to-last finish in No Child Left Behind test scores. WC’s not picking on the great state of South Carolina; he’s suggesting that Senator DeMint may be playing Find the Lady with the voters of that great state.

If WC were to engage in similar fundraising efforts against Jim DeMint in a South Carolina Senate race, the calls of “carpetbagger” would be heard clear out in Nome. It works both ways, Senator. Please take your bigotry, lies, distortions and twisted priorities back to South Carolina. And stay there.

The Alaska Supreme Court today issued a per curiam decision rejecting each of Joe Miller’s challenges to Superior Court Judge Bill Carey’s earlier decision. Bottom line: Miller loses, again, and badly, even worse than in the Superior Court.

For example, here’s what the Alaska Supreme Court had to say about Miller’s argument that minor misspellings should invalidate the vote:

Miller urges that only his interpretation of the statute will “preserv[e] the integrity of the electoral process as a whole.”  But it is Miller’s interpretation of the statute that would erode the integrity of the election system, because it would result in disenfranchisement of some voters and ultimately rejection of election results that constitute the will of the people.  We have consistently construed election statutes in favor of voter enfranchisement.

When the Supreme Court turns your own argument against you, it’s a really bad sign.

Notably, the state supreme court takes Miller to task for choosing to initiate a lawsuit in federal court, rather than either obtaining a recount or filing an election contest. The case is in the Alaska state courts only because U.S. District Judge Beistline forced it there. By choosing the litigation path he did, Miller, in effect, limited the issues he could raise.

Whatever sympathy WC might feel for Miller’s pleading himself into a corner has to be tempered by Miller’s claim to have “mastered the law.” You see, Mr. Miller, we are stuck with the choices we make, the words we use and the tactics we choose.

Slight change of subject: All bloggers and most Alaskans are quick to take state officials to task when they get something wrong. WC thinks it is equally important to offer praise and congratulations when they get it right.

Director of Elections Gail Fenumiai had to make thousands of difficult, high pressure decisions under tight time constraints, the national media spotlight and the badgering of hordes of lawyers, including her own. WC notes she appears to have made each and every one of those decisions correctly. As much as telling Miller his claims are wrong, the Alaska Supreme Court has affirmed all – every one – of Director Fenumiai’s decisions. Congratulations to her on a job well done. WC is deeply grateful to her.

Which leaves WC with Joe Miller and the ruins of his campaign. Under Judge Beistline’s order, Miller has 48 hours to resume his case in federal court. He doesn’t have a prayer. While WC has the lowest possible expectations for Miller and his advisors, surely now even Joe Miller can see that it is over. He has lost. It’s time to do the right thing, to concede, and allow the election to be certified.

WC has posted mostly penguin photos since returning from Antarctica. Of course, while penguins may be the photogenic stars of the south polar region, they’re hardly the only critters around. Marine mammals are also stars. Southern Fur Seals are by far the most common.

Southern Fur Seal Pup Nursing

And they leave their pups on the shore at a surprisingly young age, reflecting the absence of land-based predators that can kill a seal pup.

Southern Fur Seal Pup

The big boys on the beaches are the Elephant Seals. Even the subadults are huge.

Subadult Elephant Seal Bull

The subadults engage in shoving matches as a kind of training for the much more serious business of building a harem when they get older.

Elephant Seal Shoving Match

Much less common, and perhaps even chubbier than its kin, the Crabeater Seal (which doesn’t eat crab, but never mind) is the fattest looking, if not the heaviest.

Crabeater Seal

There are also Leopard Seals and Weddell Seals in the area, but, frankly, WC’s photos of them aren’t good. Remember that all these seals subsist on the same krill that support the penguins posted earlier. Leopard Seals, from time to time, have been known to snack on a penguins, and Southern Fur Seals will occasionally munch penguins as well, but in the Antarctic, everything either eats krill or eats things that eat krill. It’s that important.

WC was accused by a reader recently of failing to address “the conspiracies that have Alaska under siege.” An increasingly heated email exchange ensued, with WC asking for evidence and the reader accusing WC of failing to recognize the evidence in front of him. So, as a service to all his readers, WC now offers a handy Conspiracy Theory Detector, loosely based on Michael Shermer‘s and the late Carl Sagan’s similar tests.

Note: WC will use the word “conspiratist” to describe someone who uncritically accepts a conspiracy theory as truth. Anyone who wants to refudiate the word is welcome to do so.

1. Proof of the conspiracy supposedly emerged from a pattern of “connecting the dots” among events that need not be causally or even logically connected. When no evidence requires the “dots” to be connected, except the allegation of a conspiracy, or if the evidence fits equally well to other causal connections or even to random events, the conspiracy theory is likely to be false. Tom van Flein recently announced he’ll be a legislative aide to a new U.S. House member from Arizona. John McCain is from Arizona. McCain picked Palin. Van Flein was Palin’s attorney. Connect the dots: Palin is moving to Arizona. Um. No.
2. The agents behind the conspiracy would need nearly superhuman powers to pull it off. People are not so powerful as we think they are. The 9/11 Truthers with their claims that the U.S., not Muslim radicals, brought down the World Trade Center Towers, fail this test.
3. The conspiracy is complex, and its successful completion demands a large number of players.  First, the more complex a plan the more likely something would go wrong. Second, Occam’s Razor requires you to look for the simplest answer, not the most complex.
4. Similarly, the conspiracy involves large numbers of people who would all need to keep silent about their secrets. The more people involved, the less plausible it becomes. People don’t keep a secret worth a damn. The President couldn’t even conceal a sexual liaison.
5. The conspiracy encompasses a grand ambition for control over a nation, economy or political system. If the conspiracy suggests world domination, the theory is even less likely to be true; see points 3 and 4 above.
6. The conspiracy ratchets up from small events that might be true to much larger, much less probable events. The claim that Trig Palin is someone else’s kid – conspiratists can’t agree whose – suffers this flaw.
7. The conspiracy theory assigns portentous, sinister meaning to what are most likely innocuous, insignificant events.
8. The theory commingles facts and speculation without distinguishing between the two and without assigning probabilities to the speculation or sometimes the facts.
9. The conspiratist is indiscriminately suspicious of all government agencies or private groups. A few years ago a friend of WC thought that his bad internet connection was solid proof that the government, his internet service provider and his computer consultant were all conspiring against him.
10. The conspiracy refuses to consider alternative explanations, rejects all nonconforming evidence and blatantly seeks only confirming evidence to support what the conspiratist has a priori determined to be true.

Finally, again Carl Sagan: “What counts is not what sounds plausible, not what we would like to believe, not what one or two witnesses claim, but only what is supported by hard evidence rigorously and skeptically examined. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.”  Compelling, plausible, demonstrable proof.

Sometimes humans’ instinct for perceiving patterns betrays them, seeing patterns where none exist. Apply these tests before announcing your conspiracy. Sometimes stuff just happens.