Neocon Code Phrases for Dummies

Many of WC’s readers seem perplexed and confused by the language used by Neocons and Teabaggers. As a service to those readers, WC provides the following handy guide to code phrases, translating the phrases into plain English. Readers are invited to submit additional terms in comments.

Code Phrase	Translation
Reduce government regulation	Reduce the regulations that keep me from making more money; don’t touch the others
Cut taxes	The richest shouldn’t have to pay taxes; the rest of you suckers should pay
Stop entitlements	Stop entitlements that I can’t use; don’t touch my entitlements
War on crime	Keep the minorities in their place.
Restore liberty	See War on crime.
End government handouts	See Stop entitlements.
Abolish the US Department of Education	My kids go to a private school.
Balanced science education	Lie to students: tell them religion is science.
Climate change is a lie	The 99% of climate scientists who think we are cooking the planet are wrong; Glenn Beck is right.
Obama is a muslim/socialist/commie	He’s black. But we can’t say that.
Restore school prayer	Restore Christian prayer in schools.
Lamestream Media	Media that fail to worship me
Don’t retreat; reload	It’s not figurative
Right to work	Repeal the minimum wage
Job creators	Multi-millionaires and billionaires who don’t want to pay taxes and need nannies, maids and house servants
Right to life	Only while you’re a fetus. Once you’re out of the womb, we don’t care if you live or die. Actually, if you’re poor or any suspicious shade of brown, we’d rather you die.
Support the troops	(a) Give all your tax money to the military industrial contractors in my district who build over-budget, late projects that don’t work; (b) Until they come back and are veterans. Then it’s ok if they’re homeless.
Compromise	when Democrats do exactly what Republicans demand
Secure the Border	We hate brown people
Deficit Reduction	Stop stealing my inheritance and giving it to people
Class warfare	When poor people fight back.

Again, if you have a code phrase and translation to contribute, step right up.

(Italicized items are reader submittals.)