Carpetbaggers, Silver Spoons, Surimi and the Ghost of John Lindauer


Imitation Crab Meat Made from Surimi, Photo Via Wikicommons

Imitation Crab Meat Made from Surimi, Photo Via Wikicommons

Both the Anchorage Dispatch News and the Center for Public Integrity are reporting that Carpetbagger Dan Sullivan’s parents have dumped another $300,000 into their little boy’s campaign to buy a U.S. Senate seat. Isn’t that special? Except that it is an Alaska Senate seat, and the Carpetbagger himself and the Carpetbagger’s parents aren’t Alaskans. Alaska is just a convenient seat and they are in buyers in a seller’s market.

That most recent $300,000 is in addition to the approximately $375,000 they dumped into his primary campaign.

Nothing but the best for little Danny.

WC recognizes that the Carpetbagger can’t help who his parents were. It’s not his fault that he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. It’s not his fault his dad lives in a multi-million dollar condo in Florida.

But it is seriously annoying when the Carpetbagger pretends to be a working stiff, a “Man of the People,” who’s “just like you and me.” Because he’s not. He’s not an Alaskan, he’s not a working stiff and it’s disgusting that he pretends to be.

You know surimi? It’s the glop used to make that fake crab meat, out of “fish-puréed products”? It looks a little bit like crab meat, if you’ve never seen crab meat. It tastes a little bit like crab meat, if you’ve never tasted crab meat. The details of how it is made are pretty ugly. And if you’ve ever eaten real crab, you’ll not want to touch or smell surimi.

The Carpetbagger is the political equivalent of surimi. If you’re not an Alaskan, he looks and talks a little bit like an Alaskan. But if you’ve lived here a while, and worked here a while, you know he’s about as authentic an Alaskan as surimi is authentic crab. The Carpetbagger is political fish-puréed product, whose political beliefs are as authentic as his residency.

He’s just another John Lindauer, another cheechako who thinks he can buy Alaska voters with his family’s money.

WC isn’t buying it. WC doesn’t buy surimi and he isn’t buying Carpetbagger Dan Sullivan. The Carpetbagger can go back to Cleveland and run for the U.S. Senate there.

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One thought on “Carpetbaggers, Silver Spoons, Surimi and the Ghost of John Lindauer

  1. At least John Lindauer spent several years in Alaska before moving to Chicago and marrying the mobster’s daughter, then deciding to come back to Alaska to run for governor (watch out for those “radio mirrors,” John)

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