Following Up and Following Down: October 2014 Edition

It’s time to follow up on earlier features and stuff WC couldn’t stomach for a full length post. Think of it as a half-hearted wave at journalistic integrity. Take your Bonine™ and follow along.

How about those Palins, huh? Every time WC thinks he has a grasp of just what kind of white trash they are, there’s news that sets the sink point even lower. The Dispatch‘s report on the police photos and audio statements is just the latest example. If you thought reality television was as low as you could sink, clearly you haven’t watched the Palins’ self-caricature. And this woman could have been the Vice President of the United States. Wow.

Congressman Young Demonstrating It's Time to Retire

Congressman Young Demonstrating It’s Time to Retire

And speaking of sinking to new depths, let’s not overlook our very own Congressman Don Young, representative for all Alaskans (except folks that didn’t vote for him and maybe some other people). It’s pretty hard to go into Wasilla and offend folks by being rude and callous, but Dipshit Don1 managed to bring it off. In an appearance at Wasilla High School he managed to demonstrate the sensitivity of a drunken frat rat and the compassion of a serial murderer. Typically for Dipshit Don, he blamed his audience. This man has had his foot in his mouth so many times he has to buy Chapstick™ for his toes. He afterwards bizarrely blamed suicide on welfare. The Washington Post has a very nice takedown on Dipshit Don’s latest idiotic claim.2 WC urges you to join WC in making an additional campaign contribution for Forrest Dunbar.

WC dealt with the mess and stress of October by going somewhere else. Specifically, the Pantanal and the Cerrado, in far southwestern Brazil. It’s true that Pousada Alegre, an ecolodge far down the Transpantaneria Highway – a single lane gravel road with appalling washboard and flimsy bridges – Pousada Alegre has far better internet service than WC gets in his home. But there was a presidential election under way there, too, with photos of the leading candidates posted everywhere. Photos from the trip are very much a work in progress, but if you want a preview, visit Frozen Feather Images.

Governor Sean “Captain Zero” Parnell continues to thrash around like a gaffed salmon, trying to deal with the Alaska National Guard scandal. His administration, in the same week, has fired, unfired and re-fired the same people. Think of it as the exact opposite of effective leadership. He has refused to release public records on the flimsiest of excuses, hoping only that the courts won’t order the release of the documents until after the election. If Captain Zero is re-elected governor, WC may have to move out of Alaska.

Dan “Carpetbagger” Sullivan continues to spend other people’s money like it was water in his effort to unseat Senator Mark Begich. In between fund-raising events in Ohio, he skips debates, dodges tough questions, fakes his residency and claims to be an Alaskan because he’s married to Bud Fate’s kid. WC is married to a native Idahoan, but doesn’t claim to be a resident of Idaho, or to have special insight into its issues and politics, by reason of his marriage. If the Carpetbagger is elected U.S. Senator, WC may have to move out of Alaska.

And all of us are sick to death of unrelenting robocalls during dinner, ceaseless radio and television advertising and an election season that has seemed endless. The only way we can improve things is by showing the Koch Brothers and their political kin that they can’t buy an election result in Alaska. Defeat their candidates. It might discourage them in the future. Voting for Captain Zero or the Carpetbagger will only reinforce the behavior we are trying to discourage.

Don’t worry about WC; a couple of beers and and then maybe a couple more beers and he’ll be fine.

  1. WC doesn’t usually indulge in vulgar profanities here at Wickersham’s Conscience. But for Rep. Young, WC will make an exception. Only profanities seem adequate to the task of describing this senile, cretinous, miserable excuse for a human being. 
  2.  Matthew Shuckerow, Press Secretary to Don Young, isn’t paid enough. It’s probably not possible to pay a person enough to do his job.