Through some kind of massive IT screw-up, Senator Dan “The Carpetbagger” Sullivan (R, OH, MD, Koch) put WC on the list of recipients of his email newsletter. The Carpetbagger’s staff spelled WC’s name wrong, but still. WC’s opinion of the Carpetbagger is pretty well known. You’d think his staff wouldn’t give WC such easy targets.1
The newsletter is instructive. Reading it, you’d think the Carpetbagger was the only person in the U.S. Senate, that he accomplished the things reported all by himself. You’d also think that there was only one branch of Congress. Amazing how quickly this Ohioan picked up the arrogance that infects most U.S. Senators. House of Representatives? What?
Oddly, the name of the senior senator from Alaska, Lisa Murkowski, never appears among all of those “I” and “my” pronouns. It’s all about Dan. In fact, the pronoun “I” appears 34 times and “my” appears 20 times, many more times than the word “Alaska.” Seriously, it’s all about Dan.
As a piece of writing, the “newsletter” could have used some proofreading. Laced with dangling prepositions, split infinitives and poor grammar, it would be damning indictment of Alaska’s educational system if, you know, the Carpetbagger or any of his staff had actually attended Alaska schools. WC especially deplores the wanton cruelty to the common comma.
More substantively, the Carpetbagger claims credit for every “good” thing – for a given definition of “good” – that has happened and blames the President and the evil Democrats for every bad thing. As just one example, he claims credit for the decision to locate 24 AH-64 helicopters at Ft. Wainwright, a process in which he had absolutely no role, a decision made by the Department of Defense in the, yes, Obama administration.
Another oddity: Senator Carpetbagger talks about all the votes he cast but somehow overlooked his vote in support of a declaration that human activity is not a “significant” contributor of climate change. Senator Carpetbagger is too smart to really believe that himself; it was the consequence of his implied contract with his primary constituent and major campaign donor, the Koch Brothers. Shannyn Moore recently suggested Sullivan would next vote to deny the existence of gravity. Only if so directed by the Koch crowd. Alaska’s northern coastal erosion isn’t happening, WC supposes, or if it is it’s purely random and has nothing to do with the oil and gas industry.
Most annoyngly of all, Sullivan trundles out the tired “balance your personal checkbook” metaphor. He takes it at as a given that the federal government’s is just the same as your personal financial budget. As a matter of economics, it’s a shockingly ignorant statement. So far as WC knows, WC can’t set interest rates, can’t control money flow and has an annual budget that, proportionate to the federal budget, is too small to measure. It’s a silly, irrational argument, made solely to allow Republicans to cut federal programs they don’t like.
It’s all of one piece. A long advertisement for Dan with precious little real information, lots of distortions and lies and embarrassingly bad writing.
WC’s email application classified the Carpetbagger’s email newsletter as Junk Mail. It was right.
- WC can’t give you a link to the newsletter, because the built-in link in the email embeds a bunch of personal information about WC and WC is too lazy to defeat the filters at the webserver. If you want to read the wretched thing, contact his office and WC has no doubt they’ll be happy to sign you up. Be sure to wash your hands afterwards. ↩