Tales from Wasilla: The Perils of Convenience Shopping


So it turns out that in Wasilla, stopping at a convenience store for milk and bread isn’t just expensive; it can also be a life-threatening event.

Arthur Bean, it is alleged, is unhappy that his ex-girlfriend has returned to her husband. And in Wasilla, if you are unhappy and bump into your ex-girlfriend, you load up your firearm and chase her down Knik-Goose Bay Road, blasting away at them, shooting from your car into hers. The Mat-Su Frontiersman reports,

The woman and her husband left the Chevron station and headed south on Knik-Goose Bay and Bean followed them, they told troopers. Bean caught up with the couple near the intersection of KGB and Carmel, fired a few times in the air, then pointed the gun at their car and opened fire.

“All of a sudden, he came up on my bumper and he began to pass us on the left,” she told troopers. “I (saw) him wave a gun out of the window. He then tips the gun upside-down and with the gun pointed back at us, began to fire.”

Bean fired at least eight times, the woman told troopers, before the couple slowed down, and Bean sped away.

It must be some sort of Wasilla version of Fatal Attraction, WC supposes. Mr. Bean is alleged to have  displayed the behaviors of impulsivity, emotional lability, frantic efforts to avoid abandonment, and severe anger. Or maybe just some Second Amendment-worshiping, gun-loving ammo-sexual exercising his constitutional rights.

Is it something in the water is the Valley? Is it something in the Valley that attracts the Arthur Beans of the world? Does someone have a cogent, plausible explanation?

Mr. Bean is reported to have denied the assaults and shootings, telling the Alaska State Troopers that he didn’t want to lose his hunting license. Too late.

In the meantime, WC will avoid convenience stores in the Valley, just on general principles.

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