Tales from Wasilla: Leaving Death Threats on Answering Machines


WC has told this story before, but it bears repeating:

Many years ago, when WC was working as an attorney defending Teamsters during construction of the Trans-Alaska Pipeline, WC defended a man accused of stealing Alyeska’s dunnage. As the facts developed, the investigating officer’s report went something like this. When the cops followed the tire tracks in the fresh snow from the scene of the crime to WC’s client’s door:

Officer Curwen: “Hello, I’m Officer Dave Curwen. I’m investigating the theft of some lumber.”
WC’s Client: “Yeah, that’s us.”

WC’s point here is that, happily for those of us who have some respect for the law, criminals are generally pretty stupid. At least the ones that get caught.

Which takes us to Wasilla resident Robert Joseph Klima. Mr. Klima allegedly left not one but three threats on Planned Parenthood of Alaska’s answering machine. And his telephone number. The third message claimed that a rocket-propelled grenade was aimed at the clinic and it should stay closed.

Even by the very modest intellectual standards of home-grown terrorists, Mr. Klima gives idiots a bad name.

Klima is indicted now, and in jail. In the short and middle term, he’s not going to be a menace to anyone but himself. He has a prior criminal record, several protective orders against him and a conviction for stalking. Not a nice guy. Presumably, even a President Trump wouldn’t let this kind of case go by.

Unhappily, not all home-grown terrorists are as stupid as Mr. Klima. An unhealthy obsession with “Muslim terrorists” overlooks the greater threat of the home-grown kind. But apparently that fact isn’t as likely to get you elected President.

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