Tales from Wasilla: Allie (You Can’t Make This Stuff Up)


The Wasilla Police Department had a 911 call October 16. A Wasillie needed someone to remove the four foot-long, three year old “pet” American Alligator from their bathtub. “Allie.”

Wasilla, Alaska. Latitude 61.58° N. Pet Alligator? Bathtub?

It sounds like a classic internet hoax. But, no, this is Wasilla. It’s true.

Allie the Alligator and His Bathtub, Wasilla, Alaska (Photo: Wasilla Police Department)

Allie the Alligator and His Bathtub, Wasilla, Alaska (Photo: Wasilla Police Department)

Alligators make lousy pets. They eat people. Males like Allie can grow to 15 feet long and weigh 1,500 pounds. They are fast, strong, heavily armored killing machines. If there is some kind of redneck prestige in having such a dangerous pet, it’s an instant nomination for a Darwin Award.

This is Alaska. Alligators are cold-blooded animals. There a reason Alaska has no native reptiles. It’s cruel to a wild animal and incredibly selfish to attempt to raise it in the confines of your bathroom.

We don’t know the former owner. We don’t know what triggered the 911 call. Maybe Allie had just eaten the family dog?

A pet alligator in Alaska. How stupid is that?

Not so stupid that it apparently hasn’t happened before. in fact, Wasilla has a “reptile rescue” service. At least for the last six months. You can even go visit “Allie” there.

The “Tales from Wasilla” are popular reading here at Wickersham’s Conscience. But it’s hard to see how WC would ever top this one. But please, Wasilla, that’s not a dare.

Pet alligator. Wasilla. Anything else WC could add would be piling on.

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