WC Resorts to Doggerel (Again)

Mitch McConnell, "Ol' Turtle Neck"

Mitch McConnell, “Ol’ Turtle Neck”

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R, Moscow)1 is starting to feel the heat. Reportedly, #MoscowMitchTraitor is trending on Facebook, and even in his home state of Kentucky voters are wondering why, after Robert Mueller’s strong warning of ongoing Russian interference, he is bottling up all election reform legislation. McConnell really dislikes being called “Moscow Mitch.” Here’s WC’s response.2

The data’s overwhelming
That the Russians hacked ‘16
There really isn’t doubt
It needs a fix and really quick
We dare not chicken out.

But Moscow Mitch is Putin’s bitch
He doesn’t dare object.

The House has passed a couple bills
To protect the next election
Those bills went to the Senators
Where they never had a chance
Killed by the conspirators

‘Cause Moscow Mitch is Putin’s bitch
And sold our country out.

What to do when traitors wrap
Their treason in the flag
When the power of your right to vote
Is stamped down in the mud
For enemies to garrotte

For Moscow Mitch is Putin’s bitch
And does just what he’s told.

Repair by new election is too late
To fix this mess
Mitch’s reelection race
Won’t be in time to save
These United States

‘Cause Moscow Mitch is Putin’s bitch
Working for the enemy now

But unrelenting mockery might
Do the job electoral action can’t
Folks like Nast and Swift have shown
Satire cuts a nasty wound
To oligarchs on thrones

And Moscow Mitch is Putin’s bitch
We’ll make his infamy known

Now Senator McConnell doesn’t like
His new-found name
He resents the public knowing
Of his treasonous shame
His ears are nearly smoking

So Moscow Mitch is Putin’s bitch
Say it every chance you get.

The Turtle even took the Senate floor
To claim it was unfair
And ranted half an hour
That he’d done nothing wrong
The poor, sad, delicate flower

So say again, at every chance:
Moscow Mitch is Putin’s bitch
He knows it and it burns.


  1. Also selected by readers as Wickersham’s Conscience Hypocrite of the Year for 2018. 
  2. Happily, WC doesn’t make his living as a poet.