Mike Dunleavy, Cat Poop and Pretend


Mike Dunleavy, Alaska's governor, Bog help us

Mike Dunleavy, Alaska’s governor, pretending there isn’t a cat turd right there

One difference between WC and Dermot Cole is that Dermot is a journalist and WC is just another irresponsible blogger.1 As this blog post will show.

Dermot Cole ran a fine essay recently, showing just how hypocritical and dishonest Alaska Governor Mike Dunleavy is when it comes to Alaska’s state budget. Dermot effectively demonstrated by specific facts the point he wants to make: that Governor Dunleavy’s spending plan is “irresponsible and unsustainable.”

A blogger like WC, on the other hand, uses a story. Because journalistic integrity is something that happens to other people.

WC lived with a very large tabby cat for many years. Felix was a bruiser, 21 pounds in his prime. He was a sweetheart, but there was the time WC had to rescue Randy Wakefield’s two full-size boxer dogs from Felix, who had them cornered on Randy’s deck. Or the time Felix treed Watt Taylor’s yellow lab. And the time Felix stalked a moose that had had the temerity to chase WC. When Felix was unhappy with WC for some reason – say, being forced to wear a cone of shame after surgical repairs following a cat fight – Felix wasn’t shy about telling WC off.

Usually, that involved crapping in the the exact center of the kitchen floor, industriously swiping at the bare floor all around the stinking heap in a futile effort to “cover it up,” and then studiously ignoring the pile of stinking cat crap. Pretending it wasn’t there.

All of which is pretty much what Gov. Dunleavy is doing, don’t you think? He promised Alaskans he could solve Alaska’s financial crisis without slashing state services. Then he brought in Lizzie Borden2 Donna Arduin to butcher the budget. When the citizens revolted, he folded like a wet Kleenex™. Now his second budget ignores the financial mess entirely. It’s a stinking cat turd of a budget – under it, Dunleavy will exhaust the remaining Alaska Constitutional Reserve funds in 2021 – that ignores every campaign promise he made about the financial crisis.

And having pooped the turd, Dunleavy has walked away, saying there is no cat turd there, and if there is, it was the Legislature’s job to clean up his mess. As if that wan’t how the problem came about in the first place and wasn’t how it had been perpetuated for more than a decade.

So Alaskans remain exactly where they were. A stinking cat turd of an economic mess in the middle of Alaska’s kitchen. The only difference is that Alaska’s governor now pretends it isn’t there, and pretends he hadn’t promised to clean it up.3 Good luck with that.

 


  1. Not the only difference, of course. Dermot is smarter, harder working and better looking. 
  2. History must not forget the late Lizzie Borden: “Lizzie Borden took an axe/And gave her father forty whacks/And when the job was nicely done/She gave her mother forty-one.” 
  3. Well, except for having pissed away the entire Constitutional Budget Reserve, WC supposes. That’s $10 billion we’ll never see again. 

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